#not all my faves have dark hair okay

[imerian]

My (very old) loscar brooch (?) that i just now made doodles for

More pictures under cut

[jasminerva]

Mah Twenty Twenty-Hos

(Jasminerva's blorbos of 2024)

Thank you for the tag, @akifordessert!!! love your blorbos in your post.

Nagumo Yoichi (Sakamoto Days) he's a menace wrapped in an enigma wrapped in tattoos and smarminess. there's way more to him than meets the eye, and i don't mean the tattooed parts we have yet to see. but i would very much like to see them - yes yes. those shoulders carry so much weight and i don't mean me as i climb him like a tree. would play strip poker with him, would also like to be there as his own shoulder to lean on and let him take off his emotional layers.

Akabane Sousei (Sentai Daishikkaku / Go! Go! Loser Ranger!) he's a mad lad - emphasis on mad. i was always into the red ranger and i have failed to diverge from the path. but this dude... he's a RED FLAG ranger - all you see is red!!! like, normally i can talk myself outta it but he's just all yan and no dere and that's what i appreciates about him.

Hoshina Soshiro (Kaiju no. 8) he made me live, laugh, love so much. best mentor, best buddy, best Kansai-ben fox-eyed dude (sorry Gin). dual wield me please and tell me i'm a good girl who works real hard, but also gimme a noogie and treat me like your subordinate while razzing me.

Yoshida Hirofumi (Chainsaw Man) i came. i saw. i declared: "you look like my next mistake". took a break from CSM but never from you. that beauty mark hides life's greatest secrets like why you so fiiine? why you so trim and shady? i'm glad you're back but i trust Fujimoto as far as i can throw him. after fire punch i'd like to fire punch Fujimoto up the--

Mudano Naito (Tougen Anki) hot for teacher gdi. but this teacher schools hard af - and i don't just mean the students. he teaches purdy darn well in his own abrasive way too. another tattooed dude but he's not so mysterious as he is guarded. but STILL he cares so much. mark my words, he's efficient on the streets but passionate in the sheets.

Tagging all the Tumblr OGs who are still (semi-)active here because we need to catch up (my main is @rinri)! Or maybe we're just getting to know each other! Heck, I'll tag some new friends as well~ keep it fresh!

Who even are we anymore??? What fandoms do we belong to now??? Are you feeling as old as I am?????

tag, you're it~! @fffurina @damnthoseanimeboys @hisamei @celapin @docosahexaenoic-san @kumikocchi @kiurona @toyboxterror

no pressure! and no need to explain your blorbos. list them, picture 'em - whatever! i just felt like yapping lmao.

[bigbuffjoonie]

SEOKJIN PLEASE LMAO

I ran out of tag space I’m so sorry in advance but I just wanted to say I love that their names are Dark Hobi and Evil Yoongi lmao bc that also means in canon either they call themselves that or the heroes call them that and either way is so funny to me 😂

Versus | MYG, JHS - Chapter Two

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader x Hoseok

Genre: smut, fluff, angst, crack, enemies to lovers, Villains!AU

Rating: M (18+)

Warnings: weapons - daggers & laser gauntlets, swearing, mentions of blood, fighting (superhero workout-style), masturbation (m), allusion to shower sex

Word Count: 2.7k

Disclaimer: NSFW, obviously I don’t own BTS - they just inspire me

Summary: Supervillain exes Yoongi and Hoseok are sick and tired of having their plans for world domination wrecked by you, aka Vitality, the world’s most powerful superhero. When fellow villain Jimin suggests a little competition to see who can bring you to your knees, they both eagerly accept. Now the battle is on as both men engage you in fight after fight to see who will conquer you first. Will you finally defeat these two, or will they destroy you - and possibly take each other out in the process?

A/N: The challenge has been accepted, now it's time to establish the rules! And introduce a few other key players. Also, uh, gird yourselves, here comes the angst. Just a little!

Unbeta’d as usual. I’d love to know what you think - my inbox is always open! 💕

Chapter One ✨ Series Masterlist ✨ Chapter Three

CHAPTER TWO - THE RULES OF ENGAGEMENT

Hobi stalks angrily through his lair. Struts, actually. Not intentionally. It’s just how he walks, like the world’s his runway. Helps that he’s usually dressed to kill, both literally and figuratively. 

At the moment, he’s striding towards his weapons room wearing a stunning embroidered Louis Vuitton suit that has all of his henchmen doing double takes, and not just because of the splattered blood staining the luxe threads.

The life of a henchman is hard, as one constantly risks bodily injury time and time again for one’s leader, but working for someone who looks like that helps to soften the blows a bit. 

Hobi glares into the retinal scanner outside the weapons depot and the doors slide open as it recognizes his chestnut orbs. It also recognizes his glare. 

“Rough day, daddy?” a robotic voice purrs overhead. 

“Yes, Jin, today was shit,” Hobi declares as he returns his laser gauntlets to their place in his vast arsenal. “And I thought I told you not to call me that?”

“Sorry, sir,” the integrated A.I. system replies. Hobi rolls his eyes in annoyance. Perhaps it was a mistake giving the Synthetic Electronic Optimum Knowledge Jung Intelligence Network aka S.E.O.K.J.I.N. (Jin for short) sentience. The first thing it did upon rebooting was declare its undying devotion to Hobi. Which means an endless stream of ridiculous terms of endearment. Or pet names. Or worse.

Hobi’s starting to fear he’s going to grind his teeth into dust.

“Want to tell me all about it?” Jin inquires, automatically opening the vault door to Hobi’s inner sanctum.

“Not particularly.” He’d rather not rehash his day. It was painful enough living through it. 

Of course, Jin is undaunted. “Did the meeting at Jimin’s not go well?”

Hobi’s lithe fingers work the knot in his tie, loosening it until he’s able to tug the thin strip of fabric from his neck. “It was fine. Productive. We nailed down the rules of engagement for Jimin’s contest.” 

The terms of the challenge are concise and clear:

No outside help

No teaming up

The competition ends when Vitality draws her last breath. The man responsible wins.

The first rule is the most important. No outside help means neither can ask for assistance from any other villains, including Jimin, who must remain an impartial observer, as he so haughtily put it. The only exception is the allowance for both to continue to use Jimin’s power disrupters. 

Jimin originally decreed that the disrupters were banned, but swiftly reversed course and said they could use them since they already had them. The meeting then paused so Jungkook could apply some bandages to Jimin before he bled out all over his newly-cleaned rug.

As far as Hobi is concerned, rule two is completely unnecessary. Moving on. 

The final rule is mainly a technicality, making sure everyone understands the goal here. Once that annoying little superhero is gone, the victor will be declared. And to the victor go the spoils. Namely, a straight line to world domination, and the knowledge that they’re the superior villain, second to none. 

“That doesn’t sound very upsetting,” Jin muses. “Is it because Yoongi was there again?”

At the mention of his ex’s name, Hobi snarls. “No. I can handle seeing him.” He continues to strip, frowning at the sight of his ruined suit. Once he’s completely bare, he wanders through his bedroom to his en suite for a shower. 

“Then I guess I just don’t know what’s got you so mad, kitten.” 

Hobi presses a finger to the pinched spot between his dark brows, rubbing soothingly. The bathroom door opens. “I’m going to shower. If Jimin calls, tell him to expect a dry cleaning bill tomorrow.” 

He sighs wearily as the door closes behind him. There are no cameras in this room, so Jin is blind to what goes on in here. Not because Hobi is shy. Quite the opposite, actually. But he needs one room in the underground lair he calls home where he can go to be totally and completely alone.

Tucked away at the bottom of his vanity is a picture frame. He pulls it out, gently running his thumb over the photo inside. Bad idea. Too many conflicting emotions swirl through his already disquieted mind. He tilts the frame away and catches his reflection in the fingerprint-coated glass. The man gazing back at him struggles to maintain his cool demeanor. He turns away.

Warm water pours from the rainfall showerhead, filling the room with steam. Hobi stands directly underneath the stream, still adrift, until one particular feeling bubbles to the surface, and he strokes himself until he’s shuddering, his release washing away without a trace. When he exits the bathroom later, towel slung low over his hips, his expression is calm once again, betraying no sign of the maelstrom within.

THOCK

Taehyung strolls down the quiet hallway of the mansion. 

THOCK

He pauses outside the study, strands of his bright blue locks falling in his eyes as tips his head, listening. 

THOCK

With a grimace, he twists the doorknob. “Yoongi-hyung.” 

“Taehyung-ah,” Yoongi responds cordially, before flinging another dagger. 

THOCK

The blade lands directly in the middle of a face.

“Didn’t know you were back already.” 

Yoongi doesn’t reply as he saunters across the room. With a violent yank, he jerks the dagger out of the nose where it’s embedded, and grabs the other six that form a perfect circle around it, leaving only the one at the top that pins the portrait in place. 

“Meeting ended early,” he finally states. He removes his striped suit jacket, hanging it primly over the back of a chair before resuming his position several paces in front of the wall. “Jimin fell ill.” 

Taehyung notes the dried blood still clinging to one of the blade handles. “What did he want this time? Did he finally figure out the bug with the power disrupters?”

“Of course not. No, he wanted us to go over the rules for his stupid little competition.” 

THOCK

“And you didn’t like his suggestions?” Taehyung gestures to the dirty dagger. “Hence the blood?” 

Yoongi pauses mid-throw to inspect the handle of his blade. “Oh, we had a little disagreement, you could say. But Jimin eventually came around to our point of view, and I agreed to all of his terms. As did Hoseok.” 

THOCK

Ah, of course. Hoseok-hyung was there again. No wonder the wall was currently under attack by Yoongi’s blades. Taehyung tries to remember where he’d put the spackle after Yoongi’s last assault on the drywall.

THOCK

As another dagger whizzes by, within millimeters of Taehyung’s unconcerned face (he knows his hyung never misses), he tries not to think about what happened when Yoongi and Hoseok split. Taehyung had never seen Yoongi on a rampage like that before. So many blades. So much blood. As much as he adores his hyung, that’s a side of Yoongi he hopes to never see again. 

“So… what are the rules?”

“No outside help.” 

THOCK

“Even from me?” Taehyung pouts at the thought of not being allowed to help his hyung vanquish his enemy. His entire life is devoted to Yoongi, after hyung saved him. He gave Taehyung a purpose and something solid to cling to when the cruel winds of fate tried to tear him apart. 

In other words, Yoongi’s his rock. 

“No outside help from other supervillains. You’re not on the outside. You’re in my inner circle.” 

Taehyung beams proudly, boxy smile lighting up his handsome features.

“The other rules are simply formalities. No teaming up.” Yoongi laughs dryly. “As if that would fucking happen. I’d rather die than ask Hoseok for help, and I’m quite sure the feeling is mutual.” 

THOCK

“And the challenge is over once Vitality is dead.” 

“Okay. Those all make sense, to me.” Taehyung treads lightly. “So… just letting off some steam, then?” 

THOCK

“A little. But I’m also brainstorming. You know the blades help me think.”

Right. Taehyung remembers when Yoongi was preparing for the Tokyo maneuver. What a horribly stressful time that had been. Yoongi spent so many nights strategizing that Taehyung had ended up replacing an entire section of the wall. Spackle only goes so far. 

“Strategizing how you’ll take Vitality out?”  

“Yes. But I’m planning so much more than that.” He tosses a dagger straight above his head. Taehyung watches it flip a few times before Yoongi effortlessly plucks it out of the air, pinching it by the blade. The smile he flashes chills Taehyung to the bone. “I’m going to take them both out.” 

THOCK

The hilt quivers with the force of Yoongi’s throw, dagger buried once again dead center in Hoseok’s face.

“Harder!” A grunt falls from Namjoon’s panting mouth at your command. “Come on, Joon, give it to me!” 

“Can’t…don’t…wanna hurt you.” 

You scoff, rolling your eyes. “I’m not gonna break, Joon. Fucking stop holding back!”

Namjoon obeys, throwing his next punch with more oomph. Still, you easily dodge the blow, sliding beneath his outstretched arm and landing a jab to his gut. 

“Jesus, if you punch like this on your next mission, you’re never going to win! You gonna need me to come fight all your battles for you?”

Your goading works. The yellow haze surrounding Namjoon shimmers as he spins into a roundhouse kick. As his large foot connects with your torso, you let out a pained “OOF!” and fly across the mat, landing square on your back. All the wind in your lungs leaves your body in one loud whoosh. 

Namjoon hovers over you, hands on his knees as he catches his breath. “You okay?”

Weakly, you flash a thumbs up. 

“Okay, I think that’s enough sparring for today,” Namjoon clucks his tongue. 

“‘M fine. Just gonna… lay here… for a while.”  

Your teammate flops down next to you and rolls into his cool-down stretches. “I know what you’re doing, by the way.”

“Trying to breathe?”

“You know what I mean.” 

Of course Joon sees right through you. He’s your best friend on the team. The two of you have clicked since the day Doc brought you to the company. His hulking frame and frankly mind-boggling strength run counter to his sweet, quiet nature. A gentle giant if ever there was one. But he’s an astute motherfucker, much to your displeasure

“You don’t have to punish yourself for Dark Hobi and Evil Yoongi both escaping again. That’s not on you. Once we capture our targets and turn them over to the containment teams, it’s on them to keep them imprisoned.” 

Obviously, you know this. But it doesn’t do anything to calm the anger still roiling in your chest. How many times are you going to have to defeat those two before they’re captured for good? 

It’d be so much easier if you could just take them directly to The Hole, where all the villains found guilty of crimes against humanity are taken and locked away for eternity. But no. You know the rules - find the target, take them down, turn them over to containment. They’ll be brought to justice by the company’s tribunal, who judge whether a villain is fit to be rehabilitated and reenter society or sent to The Hole forever. 

Justice. What does that word mean, anyway? Why does the company get to decide their fates? You’re the one with the power. 

You know better than to mention these thoughts to Namjoon as he reaches for his toes, loosening his hamstrings. He’ll just recite the same annoying phrases again and again–we’re not above the system, we work for it. No one is meant to be judge, jury, and executioner all in one. It’s not right. 

Except… it sure seems like the company is all three. Why does it get to decide what’s right?

These questions are above your pay grade. Which, admittedly, is pretty high. 

“I’m not punishing myself,” you finally reply, grinning. “I just prefer to spar with someone worthy. No one else here can really give me a workout like you can. Being friends with the strongest man in the world has to have some sort of perks, you know?” 

“Besides literally bench pressing you?” He winks. “Like the other night?”

You stare off into the distance. “Ah, yes, that was a magical evening. The day I discovered I have a size kink. You really made my head go brrrr, you know that?” 

Namjoon frowns. “Sometimes I think we speak two different languages.” 

“Whatever. Help me stretch my thighs, will you? They’ve felt really tight since we got off the treadmills.” Lying on your back, you lift both knees to your chest. Namjoon nods, kneeling by your ass. He grabs one of your ankles and extends the leg, then presses your thigh into your torso. 

It’s a terribly intimate position, but neither of you flush, both deeply familiar with the other’s body by now. It’s hard as fuck to date as a superhero. Practically impossible, really, with the crazy schedules and the always lurking paparazzi, not to mention the groupies–the cape clingers, as the company calls them. So the two of you have an arrangement. Purely physical. 

“I heard the search for Hobi’s lair isn’t going well,” Namjoon murmurs, his thick fingers digging into your flesh as he switches legs. He is unfortunately correct, which you already know without hearing whatever gossip he’s about to drop. “Doc said the presentation to the shareholders last month kinda skirted around the scout’s report.” 

Over the years, Dark Hobi has completely managed to elude your company’s ability to locate his base of operations, despite the fact that you’re pretty sure his weapons cache alone must be the size of Texas. Whatever he is using for security is clearly more sophisticated than anything the company has, a fact that absolutely drives the CEO mad. He wants to be the one with the best toys. 

“I’m telling you, he’s got an underwater base. It’s the only thing that makes sense,” you mutter back, making a face at Hyunjin when he walks by and whistles suggestively at the two of you. “Oh, fuck off, Jinnie, you know you wish you were the cream filling in this delicious whoopie pie right now.” 

Hyunjin just laughs, but Namjoon rolls his eyes. ”Whoopie pie?”

“I don’t know, I’m hungry.”  

Namjoon releases your legs and begins to stretch his own. “Anyway… he said the meeting was pretty cut and dry, the usual facts and figures, not much new. Oh, I guess there was some sort of weird Geiger spike the other night out in Busan but when the teams combed the area it came from, they didn’t find anything.”

“Busan? Who do we suspect is in Busan these days?”

“No one new that we know of. Just Jimin.” He snorts and you both begin to cackle. 

“Fuck, could you imagine if that guy got his hands on nuclear weapons? Probably blow himself up immediately.” As far as villains went, Jimin aka Mr. Machiavelli is less of a threat to mankind than Dark Hobi or Evil Yoongi than he is to himself. And he isn’t some sort of amazing tactician who keeps slipping through your fingers–no, you’ve defeated him plenty of times. The only reason he isn’t currently in containment is because he has an uncanny knack for charming the guards into letting him go. 

With a yawn, Namjoon stands, offering you his hand. “Probably. Come on, I need a shower.” 

”And that requires me?”

“Yes. You blew off your steam, now I gotta blow off mine.” 

Namjoon tugs you into the communal changing area where your other teammates are milling about and you giggle as he helps you shuck your gym clothes in front of an eye-rolling Hyunjin. “Stop gawking, Jinnie, haven’t you ever seen two people about to fuck before?”

Bang Chan runs into the shower area, blue aura blazing. “Vi, we just got word that Dark Hobi’s been spotted off the coast of Jeju Island. Doc wants you ready to mobilize in ten.” 

You sigh. Just another day’s work. “Ten minutes? Fine.” Taking Namjoon’s hand, you lead him into one of the shower stalls. “Come on, thunder thighs, show me what you can do in five.”

© 2022-23 by sunshinerainbowsbts/minisugakoobies. Crossposted to AO3. Please do not copy or repost.

Masterlist 💜 Find me on AO3 💜 

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[the-east-art]

hello!! I hope you don’t mind me asking this, but do you have any good gf fic recs? I really like your sister’s one so maybe ones with similar vibes to that? :D

heck yeah! *to the tune of Stunkle Bunkle* East gives Gravity Falls Fic Recs!

idk if i can say for sure what does or doesn't have similar vibes to Pines Paradox, but I can tell you fics I like! Although legally if you like a fic I recommended you have to tell me 'I read that one and liked it' so I can feel like I'm getting a good grade in fics recs. One last thing: I'm not really a shipper so these should all if not mostly be gen. (if you want to see my entire list of bookmarks fics you can check out my ao3

Pines Paradox - BrownieFox

Ford's research is interrupted by his estranged brother showing up on his doorstep with a kid who claims to be time traveller. Meanwhile in the present, Stan and Mabel try to figure out how to get Dipper back to the right time. There will be secrets revealed, old wounds readdressed, and above it all a one-eyed demon watches with interest.

East: the primer. the blueprint. The one I do all the fanart for. Obv you have already read it, but in case this list gets around to other circles outside of my own, I want to put this one up first. Dipper gets stuck in the past BEFORE Not What He Seems.

Adrift - Jamesneatojourney

Stanford wakes up on the deck of the Stan O'War, concussed and alone

East: intense and dramatic - I'm kind of a sucker for Stan whump and that's what it is paired with REALLY good Ford POV

Pines! Pines! Pines! - hellmandraws

A collection of my various Gravity Falls fan comics, previously posted on Tumblr. The main focus tends to be on the Stan twins.

East: MUST READ COMICS. Hops all over the timeline, mostly focusing on Stan and Ford. Explores a bunch of aspects of their relationship, of the years they spend alone. It's the beast stuff out there.

putting the dog to sleep - parsnipit

ford can’t stop thinking about old yeller that night, staring up at the glow-in-the-dark stars on their ceiling. he couldn’t do it, he thinks. he couldn’t ever shoot his own dog, no matter what. “well,” stanley says pragmatically the next morning, pretending like he doesn’t care as much as ford knows he does, “since he was sufferin’ and all, it was really better for him to be dead, wasn’t it? not much point in being alive if your whole life is terrible and you’re a danger to everybody you ever loved.” something cold and sharp takes up residence in ford’s stomach. he doesn’t like hearing stanley say stuff like that. he doesn’t like it at all. “i wouldn’t do it,” ford insists. “no matter what, i wouldn’t. there’s always another way.” “heh. yeah, i bet you’d find another way, brainiac,” stanley teases, reaching over to muss ford’s hair. ford swats him away. stanley can make fun all he wants—ford still spends all night thinking about cures for rabies.

East: OUTRHGDSGD the old yeller analogy that runs through this one shot absolutely kills me - I'm such a sucker for these types of metaphors. It uses quotes from the book to set the stage the the different sections and it drives me crazy in the best ways.

Things You Can't Take Back - thesnadger

It's Nineteen Seventy-Something. Stan is running from his mistakes, when he suddenly encounters the last person he ever thought he'd run into out here. What is he doing in Columbia, so far from Glass Shard Beach?

East: dare I spoil the twist? I won't. Read it. One of my all time faves.

Persist and Dwell - fencesit

Wendy pauses with her hand on the door and then says, "Hey, Soos—you ever notice Stan doesn't really...touch things?" He probably should have seen this coming, but the problem with deliberately not looking at things is that they have lots of chances to blindside you. In hopes of avoiding this conversation, Soos says, "I haven't noticed that." "Okay," Wendy says. "So. I'm going crazy, right?" "Dude, you're too smart to be crazy," Soos says, "but he totally touches things. He handed you money like five minutes ago."

East: What if Stan was lowkey-highkey haunting the shack?! THIS IS SUCH A GREAT IDEA. I really wish that there was more for this au or this idea

Deja Vu - interlude

Stan and Ford get stuck in a time loop on the day of the portal incident and are forced to work through some things.

East: Through the lense of a timeloop, watch the brothers have their struggles, and find that with infinite time on their hands there is nothing else for them to do but to eventually work things out (and maybe deal with how to get out of the loop). ITS GOOD SHIT

The Sacrifice of Stanford Pines - Jugare

Instead of sending Stan a postcard, Ford leaves Gravity Falls to find his brother. But to his shock, Stan is not nearly as willing to help as Ford thought. Everything goes south quickly.

East: I love this fic. The act of Ford going and finding Stan rather than having him send a letter gives these characters more time to interact before they arrive at the Shack, changing the course of fate. A top tier fic.

Under The Ice - castielrisingabove

What if that phone call the Bill-possessed Ford made to Stan actually went through?

East: short but to the point. A fun thought experiment and I think does a good job portraying both Stanley and Ford.

Sleight of Hand - impish_nature

Stan the magician!

East: Stan, post weirdmageddon, shows off his sleight of hand and his magic tricks. Ford POV. If you like the idea of the things lost in the cracks of memory after the series finale, or at least while Stan recuperates, you'll like this.

Unexpected but not Unwanted - impish_nature

Ford struggles as Stan remembers.

East: the tentative movements towards being a family, being brothers again, post weirdmageddon. shamelessly soft.

I Am A Selkie On The Sea - scribefindegil

The twins may be able to use the same sealskin, but only the one born with it is the true selkie. At least, that's what Ford's been telling himself for the past 40-odd years.

East: This series in general is really good. I like how the selkie skin is used to unit and to tear apart. My one gripe is I wish we never found out whether the skin belonged to Mabel or Dipper, and it was left for the reader to decide (and to decide if that even matters)

Too Late, Too Soon, Not Enough - IncomingAlbatross

(Another take on the missing scene in the Fearamid, featuring protectiveness, promises, and some long-overdue emotional progress. Also Stan being annoying on purpose.)

East: one of my favorite depictions of this scene. Does a good job with Fords POV and writing Stanley

why can't we just teach kids swears? - untrustworthyglitch

“Anyway, what’s in my kitchen that needs kid proofed? I keep the liquor in the high cabinets, where the kids won’t be able to reach,” Stan says. “Plus, the gun in the breadbox isn’t even loaded. Probably. I think.” Soos sighs. “I have my work cut out for me.” Or, in which Stan's niece and nephew are coming, and it's up to Wendy and Soos to fix Stan's life and habits.

East: A good fic, but more than that I really love this idea of how Soos and Wendy helped Stan get the shack ready for the kids.

Protective Instincts - ShyEye

Stanford decides to do some out of house research one late full moon night. He returns home only to almost instantly be attacked by an unfamiliar monster that maybe isn't as unfamiliar as initially thought.

East: I just love werewolf Stan au okay?

The Other Portal - Haberdasher

AU where, when items are lost in the Bottomless Pit, they come to Ford… regardless of his current location in the multiverse.

East: A good fic, but more than that it's a really fun idea! I wish they had pushed the implications of this even more (especially with the bottomless pit episode)

Off-Season - anistarrose

Winters running the Mystery Shack are difficult, but two unexpected guests improve Stan’s day.

East: cute oneshot. I'm a big fan of timetravel oneshots that are from the pov of the person who ISNT the timetraveler. Dramatic (or in this case tbh just very cute) irony.

In the Shadow of Death - A_Zap

It all started with the grim. Now it seems like every time he turns around, Ford finds yet another death omen hanging around his brother. Seriously, what exactly is going on with his brother that death constantly seems to follow his footsteps? A 5+1 fic of the death omens that adopted Stan and he adopted back.

East: It all comes together in the final chapter, trust me.

Changing Tides - Ariasune

When their dæmons settle, they'll be grown up. At least, that's the general idea.

and

Post-script - Ariasune

Poindexter, your deed is in the safe -- Wendy can open it for you -- don't worry about the mortgage, that's been paid off. Sorry about messing your life up again. Bye. PS - the milk is about to go bad, so you should use that up.

East: DAEMON AU DAEMON AU I'm such a sucker for these kinds of aus. Changing Tides focuses on canon, flipping between when the Stans were kids and the time of the show. Post Script naturally happens after the show. They're both good and dramatic.

Raising Stakes - Mary P Sue

East: heck, my copy and paste stopped working for some reason, so no summary for you. This is a vampire au and it's good! Create characterization, pretty clearly written either while Mystery Trio was a big thing or inspired by it. Carla fans get your juice.

[zhonglis-little-slvt]

So.. Zhongli.....

If he's a dragon hybrid as many depict him to be, seeing as he's the former Geo Archon, with much power. Would he be able to control himself and his draconic nature in the heat of the moment with a small fragile human?

Two thick cocks stood before you, slightly weighed down from their length. You gulped, excitement and fear rising in you as you looked up at your lover from where you kneeled below him.

You were sat neatly on a silken pillow before the former Archon, while the male in question sat tall on the couch in front of you. His lithe index finger poked at your throat before his finely trimmed claw slowly and gently made it's way up to your chin to tilt your face toward his own, forcing your gaze to meet his amber eyes.

"What's wrong little thing?" He asks with a dark chuckle. Your legs shift below you on the pillow as you try to distract your nerves from becoming too much to handle, unknowingly avertingnur gaze.

With a snap of his fingers he regains your attention. Leaning down he places a festher-light kiss to your plush lips. "Talk to me sweetheart." He said, his tone slightly softer, but you could still hear the authority behind his words which made you shiver in anticipation.

"Not sure if I can do it." You murmured quietly. You had worried about having your first time in general but now? Seeing the length, the girth. Knowing how much it must hurt to stretch that far. You were intimidated to say the least.

He huffed out a soft laugh. "You can. I'll guide you through and we'll go gentle at first." The promise in his words had your heart melting. You knew you loved this man and you trusted him, so all you had to do was trust him one more time. "O-okay. Going slow. Got it." You replied, more so to yourself than to him.

He smiled as he watched you near his lengths with your mouth slightly agape. Hesitantly, you licked your lips before putting the tip of the first cock in your mouth. Just the tip was wide enough to have you open your mouth more than you had anticipated. A grunt sounded from above, making you look up at Zhongli to see his amber eyes... glowing?

Just as you were about to pull off to ask about his condition he suddenly spoke. "Fuck that feels so good. Think you can take me back a bit more baby girl?" You still wanted to ask but seeing the need written on his face made you quickly decide to hold off. After a quick breath through your nose you leaned forward a bit further, taking more of him into your mouth. Your gaze fell to his body as you saw what you were doing to him.

As pleasure consumed the former Archon, his arms turned black while his veins glowed a vibrant gold. The tips of his chocolate brown hair began to glow a soft orange hue as you saw his trimmed claws get slightly longer. Seeing the effect you had on him only empowered your actions, giving you a sense of pride as you began to lightly suck on the thick appendage the laid upon your tongue.

His hand raked through your hair as a growl rumbled through his chest. "Such a good girl- taking that cock." Your eyes roamed back up to his fave to see his pupils had turned to slits. His sharpened features had you rubbing your thighs together in need as you began to feel wet. "Can you take more? Just a little more? For me." He asked, his velvety smooth voice had you leaking as your tongue licked over a particularly thick vein it had found as you slid further down his shaft, causing his head to fall back with a loud moan.

His second cock was now in your face as you suckled on the first. Feeling a bit bad for ignoring the poor thing for so long you reached up to thumb at the tip. A sharp gasp had you looking up to see him arching his back with his head on the back of the couch. "Oh, oh my- Such a good girl." He praised.

He took your freehand and sat it upon his thigh as he held it while he smiled down at you, his fangs on full display for his special girl. "Look at you, making Daddy feel good like this." At that, you gagged and made him moan. "Oh? Was that a gag? Did I cause that?" He asked in a teasing tone.

Averting your gaze you focused back on his second cock as you smeared his precum around the tip. "Hey, good girls don't ignore their Daddy." He said as he made you look at him by lightly pulling at your hair, making ue softly whine. "You like that don't you?" Not able to pull away you huffed on his cock and sucked a bit harder which had him releasing your hair and squeasing your hand. "Oh yes you do!"

After you had gotten used to his length you began to bob your head and pump your small fist around him. His jaw dropped as his eyes rolled. You would be smirking with pride if your mouth wasn't full at the moment.

Your panties were soaked as was the pillow below you, and you knew he was close from how his thighs tensed. Tightening your grip on his second length you stroked him quickly and after a few swift pumps, you were gulping down dragon cum while more spilled over his abdomen.

You dropped your hands to your lap but your head remained in place as he came down your throat, the warm, white liquid stopping after a moment. Once his orgasm was finished you gave him one final suck before pulling away with a heavy pant. Getting proper breaths of air for the first time in minutes you took slow breaths with a prideful grin, you just made a dragon cum. Correction- you just made your dragon cum!

After he caught his breath, Zhongli sat up to look at you. "Hah- You ready?" He asked with a devilish grin. "Ready? I just finished?" You said confused. He only laughed

"You had me finish, now it's my turn." He growled out, sounding nearly feral as he leaned down from the couch and pinned you to the floor.

His forked tongue slithered over your collarbone and up your neck before delving into your mouth. You moaned softly as his teeth nipped at your lips whilst he explored your wet cavern. He was rough yet gentle and his actions have you writhing beneath him.

"Shh, patient. You'll get what you want soon enough." He soothed as his hand snaked down your body to pull off your drenched panties. His fingers slid over your folds, gathering your arousal before he found your clit. "Looks like someone's excited, hm?" He hummed into your ear lowly, resulting in a soft moan from you. He toyed with your clit, pinching, pulling, circling it with his claws, anything that had you arching your back.

Pressing a finger into your tight entrance, he began to thrust his digit in and out of you repeatedly. A lewd squelching sound resonating in the air as he adds another clawed finger overtime, stretching your dampened hole to take him. "Feeling good down there?" He asks? A teasing lilt to his voice. You can only nod, not trusting your voice.

Slowly he drags his fingers over your g-spot and pulls them from your core. A wet 'pop' sounding through the room. He takes the slick arousal from your leaking pussy and smears it along his cocks, sticking himself up before pressing both his tips to your core.

"Daddys little girl ready to take him?" He asks. You knew the question however, was rhetorical, as he already began pushing both lengths into your waiting hole, making you cry in ecstasy. "Oh my- Daddy!"

Your head fell back, expecting to be met with the hard floor but instead was met with the soft pads of your lovers fingertips. "That's it baby, let go." He sweetly cooed as he continued to push into your small hole.

Panting, you felt the wood peeling as your nails scratched at it. You felt as if he was trying to rip you in two in the most pleasurable way possible. It wasn't until you felt him stop moving did you breathe somewhat normally again. His tips were pressed against your cervix, hitting the deepest parts of your pussy and filling you full.

Without warning he began rutting into you. Thrusting into your small body as his clawed hands gripped your hips and kept them firmly held against the floor. His eyes were slides and his tongue was out. He looked like he wasn't even there anymore!

Despite your minor concerns for what was happening, you couldn't do a thing. Moans and gasps slipped from your lips as his twin cocks pummeled your insides without mercy.

♡▪︎•◇•▪︎♡▪︎•◇•▪︎♡▪︎•◇•▪︎♡▪︎•◇•▪︎♡▪︎•◇•▪︎♡

You laid on the floor panting as you came for the nth time that night. Zhongli was blissed out of his mind at the moment, his eyes were rolled back as he laid his head upon your chest. Everything was so peaceful despite the feeling of the pulsing in your core from his cocks still being buried balls deep inside you. But at the moment, you didn't care.

Everything was warm, you were content, and the moment he woke up- you knew you would be getting the best aftercare knowing to dragonkind.

This was a request but to anyone else who got this far. I hope you enjoyed it you fellow sluts <3

[fairyhaos]

how seventeen react to their s/o falling asleep during pillow talk

requested by anon : "hii how do you think svt would react if you were talking in bed cuddling before sleeping and (pillow talk one of my fave things ever omg) and they were rambling and suddenly they look at you and you're asleep?"

notes: haha this one really is so adorable

masterlist

seungcheol

he's in the middle of trying to give you tips on how to get through a tiring day bc you'd told him you've been having an exhausting week, but when he looks over at you while talking about conversation tactics he sees you've fallen asleep on his shoulder, snuffling quietly in your sleep. he just smiles, soft, putting an arm around you and adjusting you so that you're in a more comfortable position, kissing you on the forehead goodnight

jeonghan

definitely wakes you up. not in a 'startling you awake' kind of way, tho. he just shakes your shoulder gently, whispering that you fell asleep while he was telling you how much he loves him. laughs softly when you murmur blurrily that you didn't mean to, and just kisses your forehead and tells you that it's okay, that he loves you anyway, that he's always going to love you no matter what

joshua

doesn't wake you up, but pretends that he is. pinches your cheek, brushes the hair out of your face, smiling down at your relaxed expression. whispers scoldings to you for falling asleep while he's talking—he's not that boring, you brat—before snuggling next to you and closing his eyes, drifting off to sleep too, the 'i love you' on his tongue and whispered in his dreams

junhui

carries on talking. if he talks for long enough then his voice and what he's saying can enter your brain and it'll influence your dreams right?? he doesn't exactly know the logistics of that, but if he holds you in his arms and keeps talking mindlessly about the random things you did today that made him smile, then hopefully he can make you smile in your dreams too

hoshi

is whispering all "hey >:((( you fell asleep >:(((" even though you literally are, like, asleep. like he said. rambles about how heartbroken he is, bc literally he's here talking about how incredible his day was and now you're asleep??? drifts off with you sleeping on his shoulder and blurred words of "i just really love you okay" on his lips

wonwoo

he's been watching you the entire time, of course he saw when your eyes started drooping and you fell asleep next to him. just smiles and gently gathers you in his arms, closing his eyes against you and preparing to fall asleep too. it's not like you both were talking about anything that important, anyway. 

woozi

he wanted you to fall asleep tbh. he came back from work really late and was surprised to find you up, waiting for him. talked to you quietly for a few minutes, but after a moment passes where his question hangs in the air unanswered, he knows you've drifted off. some part of him is touched you stayed up when it's obvious you were so tired, and the other part is exasperated that you stayed up when it's obvious you were so tired

minghao

he's explaining some new philosophical idea he learned that day when he feels your breathing slow beside him, no longer humming in acknowledgement when he pauses. he doesn't say anything about it, just letting his voice peter out naturally, his hand finding your cheek in the darkness to rub a thumb over your cheekbone, soft and fond, making a mental note to tell you about the theory of solipsism later

mingyu

probably falls asleep before you tbh. one minute he's spooning you and telling you about his day, and the next minute, he pauses to take a breath and then suddenly lets out a quiet snore. it makes you laugh, a little, at how suddenly he fell asleep, but you just close your eyes too, his gentle snuffles warm on your neck, his arm a comforting weight over your waist. 

dokyeom

pouts to himself, bc he's not that boring is he??? kisses your forehead and promises himself that he's going to sulk and whine the next morning but you wake him up with such a lovely smile saying that you're sorry for falling asleep on him last night :((( and it's so sweet that instantly all thoughts of pouting and whining are out of the window as he just squishes you into a hug

seungkwan

listening to seungkwan talk is just so… relaxing, actually, so it's happened a lot while you're in bed after a long day and he tells you in a soft voice about everything that's happened. he holds you on his chest, arm around your shoulders, and pillow talk with him is basically just him talking you to sleep more than anything else

vernon

hansol is probably the type of guy who wants to hear about your day rather than rambling about his, so you end up falling asleep on him while telling him about the weird thing that your friend did today. your voice gets drowsier, taking longer to continue after you pause, so he just laughs softly and gathers you in his arms, telling you it's okay and you can tell him later, but now it's probably a good idea to go to sleep

chan

notices it the second that you're no longer making little humming noises whenever he takes a break in the middle of what he's saying. looks over to see you, head half buried in the blankets, in deep sleep and just sighs fondly. strokes the hair out of your face, goes "what am i going to do with you?" all sweet and adoring before settling into bed himself, whispering "sweet dreams" before he closes his eyes

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[syndrossi]

Thinking about Restoration AU (again). What POV would you like to write/or are you just interested in? Well, besides Cersei :D Even for the time of the first book, she can't be called sane. Maybe Jamie? Like you said, in the first book he wasn't in the mood for redemption, but here he meets the ghost of the man he was loyal to and whom he feels he has failed (I tend to think that Rhaegar just didn't want to take a 16 year old boy to battle, so he gave him an important "assignment").

Or maybe Robert's POV during the meeting with the twins? We know that Ned is mentally praying at this time, while Robert may not remember Rhaegar's facial features and his reaction is: ho ho our noble Ned is just a man too, we're not so different.

Or Catelyn? I don't share the fandom's hatred of her, but it would be very interesting to see her thoughts, especially how she tries to recreate the image of a "rival" to Rhaegar: his looks, charming singing, soft demeanor.

Personally, I'm probably most interested in seeing Darmon and Daenerys' POV. With Darmon, it will be both painful and fun - painful because he finds himself in a world where his children aren't around him, dragons are extinct, and the Targaryens have fallen (the story of Rhaegar's death might cause a sudden painful flashback). But watching him terrorize first the people of the valley and then Volantis, who have no idea where the hell the dragon came from or what children this madman is talking about (they're already willing to give him their children just to get rid of him) would be fun.

And for Daenerys I'm just happy, she'll probably be a little scared of Darmon at first (he's a little crazy during their first meeting) but then she'll appreciate him: the fact that there's finally an older family member protecting her from Viserys, and his dragon, and the way he treats her gently (she'll 100% remind Daemon of Rhaegar, only a girl). Or Viserys? In terms of insanity it should be something close to Cersei in the last few books.

Would love to see your thoughts. By the way, have you decided whose POV will be next?

Hmm, it's less for me about POVs and more about certain story events, other than the aforementioned Cersei POV. Like, the Robert meeting the twins is an obvious one, but I don't think I'll write Robert's POV. For that, I'm leaning toward Ned's, especially because he'll get to see little!Jon/Willam staring absolute daggers at Robert, both as in the I HATE YOU sense and the DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH MY LITTLE BROTHER-DAD sense, but Ned will likely interpret it as "you killed our older brother! 😡" Whereas Rhaegar/Raymar is deer-in-headlights "if I don't move he won't see me" mode.

(Oh, or could THAT be our first Cersei POV? Ehh, I still think Ned, but I can absolutely see Cersei being huffy about Robert going to greet Ned's bastards after he meetings the trueborn ones, viewing it as him rubbing his adultery in her fave, and then she catches a glimpse of Rhaegar and goes why hello yes target acquired ned stark's bastards you say?

Goodness, I hadn't thought about Rhaegar becoming the symbol of the boys' mother to Cat, but he probably would, wouldn't he? Jon and Willam remind her enough of Ned, but she's staring at this dainty-looking child with the long braid, imagining the woman's silver-blond hair and beautiful eyes and quiet demeanor. Did she sing? Is that what drew Ned to her?

Okay, I may have to steal the "Volantis just starts flinging Valyrian-looking children at Daemon in a bid to appease him" bit for Daemon's reign of terror across Essos. 😂 They just round up every child that looks the least bit like him, and even throw in some dark-haired, grey-eyed ones like the other child he mentioned. Daemon is all "wtf am I supposed to do with these?" and they're all "feed them to your dragon if they aren't what you want, please just leave us alone."

I think Dany and Daemon's first meeting will definitely be a Dany POV, so I suppose that's one I'm looking forward to! I still haven't decided the exact timing there. Canonically per the book, her wedding to Drogo has already occurred by now, so either I shift the time so that Daemon can dramatically prevent it, or he rocks up on the Dothraki and starts burning until they give him his kin.

I have not yet decided which POV is next, though that's up after Knight of Stars pt2. (Assuming I don't get sucked into the "Rhaella gets summerhalled" AU I'm very tempted to write first. And we still need the wintery hot springs prompt fill! Lots to write this week.)

[flowerfreya]

No Knock Raid Part 2

I kinda have an obsession with mafia!141 and it's my fave dark romance trope

Pairing: John Price / Reader

No mention of name or description of reader

About this: The after affects of SWAT performing a no knock raid on the reader's and John's home.

Sitting down in the car , not even bothering to buckle up and start to cry silently. You understand what your husband does, you know that this was life before you and provides for your family, hell you work for one of the businesses you just didn’t think would affect your kids life , have them forever traumatized because of something we did. 

“Love” ,John says tenderly. 

“Please, just drive” , You want to see your kids , see if they are okay. To apologize for of course all the issues that you caused them for this one night. 

“We should talk about th-”. You cut John off , “There is nothing to talk about , get me home to my kids”. He sighs and shakes his head , he is worried about you. Your skin has a sickly sheen over it , your hair looks greasy but like you keep messing with it and your fingernails look like you chewed them off. 

Once you arrive home , the children run up to you, they just seem really tired and just want to snuggle up to you and be under you. They ask if they can sleep with you and you say “of course”. John is holding the youngest baby , hugging him close. You thank your sister for watching your children and send her on her way. 

The kids fall asleep quickly, at least one body part is touching you and John. You can’t sleep so you just stare at John who is assessing you. 

“I was on my way home,when I got the alert”,John says.

“They pointed guns in our children's face” You whisper. 

He pressing his lips so tight they almost disappear under his mustache, “ I know sweetheart, I’m going to fix this”

“But how, they are going to remember this night forever, and I can’t fix that”. You turn you head away from him, letting the tears run down your face. You feel a lot of mom guilt for being a working mom already, you work 40 hours a week and with this on top of it you don’t know how you are going to survive this. You don’t think that John can make this better , he can’t go inside your head and scrub that portion of your brain no matter how much you want too. He grabs your hand. He growls , “ You did everything,right. You hear me?”. You nod head, you don’t really agree but you logically know you couldn’t have done anything different, but that doesn’t feel like you couldn’t have.   

“I just want to go to sleep now, please. We have to talk about this in the morning with the kids present”. You did not want to be the type of parents that sweep everything under the bed, especially with something as heavy as this.

part 1

[nerdanel01]

No. 2 - Aostrolf's Weed (NSFW/18+)

“Is this okay?” she took the care to ask him, almost sweetly. Something a little self-conscious and worried in the look she gave him. “This is still okay?”

Maker. It’s better than okay. It’s a wanting more edged and hot than he has ever known, a pleasure so deep he might lose himself in it. It’s too good; it isn’t right at all. He knows that no matter what promises he has made, he is going to be imagining her like this for the rest of his life: beautiful thighs spread on either side of his hips, flush of arousal across her chest, pert breasts, his cock in her hand—ready, he can only assume, to ride him raw because he did not fuck her hard and fast enough the first time, as she had been asking him to. 

He is tongue-tied, too thick with need to answer with words. But his hands found her hips and guided her downwards, both of their groans echoing off the walls of the Necropolis as she sank around him, taking him fully inside of her in one slow, steady, deliberate press.

The pleasure is staggeringly total: his toes curl; his back arches off the floor; his hips drive up to meet hers. His eyes rolled back as his eyelids squeezed shut, his jaw slack, mouth open wide to let loose a groan that is nothing short of obscene, loud enough to echo through the vast hall of the Necropolis without. 

And that’s just the feel of her—but the sight of her, look! The tension in her thighs and her core as she lifts herself only to seat herself fully around him again; the messy curls of dark hair spilling over her shoulders and around her face and the curled patch of dark hair between her legs; the bounce of her breasts with each of her thrusts. Strange, how it still feels a move too bold to touch her—but she has no reservations about touching him. When Agnes caught him staring, she smiled, bit her lip, did not quite bite back her moan of satisfaction; lifted her free hand to hold his face, her fingers brushing his cheek so reverently, so gently—far more gently than the force with which she rode him. When her thumb swiped low along the curve of his chin, Emmrich opened his mouth and captured it, gently but firmly, between his teeth. 

[read full fic]

—

I’m really proud of all the writing I did this year! So for the last ten days of 2024 I’m going to be reblogging my 10 favorite pieces that I wrote.

I think this is the longest single smut one-off I've ever written?? It got so out of hand??? It inspired a whole spin-off series I had 0 intention of writing???? And compared to other pieces it was so easy to write— a real joy.

The fic owes a lot to two other sex pollen fics I'd HIGHLY recommend—firstly, a Solas x Trevelyan one, which is mind-numbingly good and (I think??) can still only be found on the Kink Meme/LJ. It's so good I spent over an hour and $22 trying to find it in all those comments again just to rec it here, and it was worth every minute and penny. I was for sure heavily influenced by the absolute crash from erotic to devastating at the end. Not gonna put the author on blast since it was filled anonymously but if they are seeing this: this is one of MULTIPLE of your works I still think about years later and I hope you are thriving. And SECONDLY, oh my god, @bdafic's Solavellan sexpollen fic, Aphrodisia. YES IT'S UNFINISHED, I DON'T CARE, GO READ IT ANYWAY. I am sometimes literally just doing things around my house like, walking my dog, or washing my dishes, and the reveal in this fic hits me over the head AGAIN and I have a little chuckle at Solas' expense thinking of him hiding his embarrassed, red face in his hands… and then I just stare into space like, wow. wow. Incredible. 13/10. I won't spoil it for you, but it's so hot, and so funny. Multiple outloud belly laughs reading it. Incredible Dorian and Varric banter at the top. And @bdafic's Ellana is one of my fave quizzies. I never would have put all that work into Aostrolf Van Markham if I hadn't been inspired by the absolutely insane world building this fic spoils the reader with. START YOUR 2025 OUT RIGHT! RUN DON'T WALK!!

[f1amboyant]

Will you by any chance write a carcar fic? 😗 I just recently read your girl!carlos fic and I CANNOT help but imagine CARCAR in that kind of sitation or any situation really but just girl carlos.

I’ve been lurking at ao3 but it is so rare 😔

Hi anon!

First, thank you for reading my latest unhinged fic (girl!carlos x reader truly wasn't on my bingo card of what i would write for 2024 but here we are) 😘

Second, you have put an idea in my head and just 😮‍💨🫠🥵 As I said in the previous ask (the one that inspired that last fic), a character turned into a girl is not usually my fave trope. But girl!carlos?? With Oscar??? Yes??? Why does this work so well?? I can't get it out of my head. This is TOO GOOD. It's going straight to the 'to write' folder.

Please, feel free to share more ideas about this anon! 🧡

And also. Maybe I started writing a little something. A teaser maybe? 🤭

"You're a girl," Oscar deadpanned, arching both eyebrows high on his forehead.

Oscar wasn't sure he imagined the faint blush on Carlos' cheeks (his perfectly shaven cheeks). No, not shaven. Hairless. Smooth.

"No, I'm a man," Carlos protested with a deep frown. "I'm just… You know." He gestured vaguely at his whole body, forcing Oscar to look (as if he wasn't looking already).

Carlos' brows were just as dark and thick as before, his eyes just as wide and brown, his lips just as plush. Why would Oscar notice such details, that was a mystery to him. But he noticed the differences even more. The hairless cheeks unnerved him for no reason. Too slim limbs poked from the too big shirt and oversized shorts. The clothes dwarfed Carlos in a way that was impossible usually and completely irked Oscar's mind, but they bore the characteristic 55, meaning they truly were Carlos' clothes, it was just that Carlos was… Well. He was…

"You're a girl," Oscar repeated because there was no other way to put it.

The clothes also displayed the iconic Ferrari logo and there was no mistaking the swelling curve just underneath it, distorting the sponsors' logo and that little point that… Nope. Not happening. Oscar wasn't going to look at Carlos' chest.

At his breasts.

"You have boobs, mate," Oscar deadpanned, as if it wasn't obvious and as if he just hadn't forced himself not to look. "You're a girl."

"I'm still me," Carlos grumbled, threading his fingers through his hair. Longer hair. Black as always. Falling beautifully under his shoulders.

Beautifully? Really? Get a grip, Osc.

"Like," Carlos continued, searching for the right words he couldn't find. "I'm still me, a man. But just my body is… You know."

Oscar thought hard not to roll his eyes.

"Yeah, okay, sure. Gender and sex are different things," he shrugged. "It doesn't change the fact that this kind of things happen. You're a…"

"Don't say it again," Carlos hissed.

He plopped down on the bed, sitting at the edge of the mattress and crossing his arms and legs. Oscar didn't notice how that made the swell of his breast even more visible through the Ferrari t-shirt and he didn't notice how the already short shorts rode up even higher on Carlos' thigh. Nope. He didn't notice at all. Not at all.

Was it getting hotter in there? And why was he in Carlos' hotel room again? He never should have come in there. No. More importantly, why had Carlos texted him to come over? That didn't make any sense.

"I know it happens and believe it or not, it happened to me before but just," Carlos was saying, looking everywhere but at Oscar. "You don't have to say it. Just. Can you help me?"

Oscar's brain froze.

What?

He heard wrong, right?

Carlos couldn't be asking him what he was asking.

Right?

"Sorry?"

"Can you help me?"

"Why me?" Oscar looked around the room like he would find someone else hiding there and could push that person into Carlos' arms. Anyone else but him. "Why don't you ask Lando?"

The disgust on Carlos' face was telling, no matter what his face looked like at the moment.

"Lando is like a little brother to me. I can't do that with him."

"Charles then," Oscar decided more than he suggested.

Carlos looked back at him with eyes so wide and so still it was almost scary.

"I can't let Charles see me like this."

"Why not?"

And why was Oscar asking truly? Why was he still here? He should have left a long time ago. He should have left when Carlos had opened the door, half hidden in the shadows of the hallway and refused to show his face until he had closed the door securely. He should have left the moment he had laid eyes on Carlos and almost lost all sense of reason.

He shouldn't have come at all.

"Me and Charles, it's… It's complicated. I just can't, okay?"

"Okay."

It wasn't okay.

"You realize what you're asking me, right?" Oscar said, taking a step forward, like it could prove his point. What was his point, again? "Because this?" He gestured to Carlos' body, the body of a woman, no doubt about that. "There's truly only one way I can help you with this. You know that, right?"

Carlos softly bit his lip for a brief second, immediately followed by his tongue wetting the invisible indentation left there. Oscar was looking. He was looking so bad.

"I'm aware," Carlos said.

"And you're still asking me?"

"Yes," Carlos huffed. Like he was asking something so trivial and Oscar was being difficult about it. The nerve of this guy truly. This woman. Man. Whatever. "Stop stalling, Oscar." The r rolled on Carlos' tongue, unusual for Oscar's name. "What do you say?"

Truly, Oscar should have left a long time ago. Truly, he never should have come at all. Because now. Now this was an opportunity he couldn't pass. Now, he was tempted to say…

"Yes."

[octuscle]

What is your fave kind of jock??

Oh, I have very simple tastes. I like the all American football hero.

Okay, cool would be if he had hair on his chest. Doesn't have to be many. The main thing is to have hair on the chest and a beard. Definitely not blond. Black hair, black beard. And dark brown eyes. They glisten like the skin oiled with really much oil. Of course, he should speak Turkish. And be a total macho. With a macho job. Mechnician or something.

Yes, I think that is my favorite kind of jocks.

[milla984]

And in the Beginning...

Summary: after spending a day at D.C.’s most renowned multifandom convention Spencer and Garcia stop for a coffee. Spoiler alert - our fave Resident Genius dumps their order on Reader.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x gn!reader (Reader is a sci-fi buff)

Category: fluff

TW/CW: swearing, mentions of food, some Star Wars-related talk

Word Count: 2k

Once again, a ginormous THANK YOU to @drgenius-reid for taking the time to beta-read the first draft (aka witnessing the horror)!

The following work is my entry for @imagining-in-the-margins' CM Meet Cute (or not) Challenge and is also part of the series Spencer Reid, my beloved

“Highlight of the day?! Jamie Hewlett signing my copy of The Cream of Tank Girl! In you face, Mr. 'Superman Can Fly'...!”

The woman carrying a Chinese paper umbrella rummaged through her purse to retrieve a wallet and pay at the coffee truck parked outside the convention center; stylish two-tone glasses matched the army green jumpsuit with a teddy bear patch on her right leg and the blue mandarin collar button-down shirt she was wearing, and her blond hair was tied up in a pair of small side buns.

The tall man beside her chuckled as he picked up two cups. “I don’t know if I should be more impressed or worried.”

“Why?! We made a deal and it’s perfect: he can have Sci-Fi-Gate, I’m keeping WashCon.”

“Sci-Fi-Gate has amazing Star Trek guests, though…”

A long and colorful scarf was wrapped around his neck and a deep red cravat necktie peeked out of the hem of a plaid design vest, combined with a single-breasted brown coat and a pair of grey pants. 

“I can't believe you would really choose the Captains of the Enterprise panel over my emotional stability,” she frowned, paying zero attention to the cosplayer in a trenchcoat with a pair of black wings attached to their back she was about to brush past.

When the feathers smacked her cheek she pulled back, the tips of her umbrella almost poking the tall guy dressed as Doctor Who in the eye; the sudden movement startled the cosplayer and a rapid swing of their dark wings created a commotion in the crowd of people waiting for their turn to order. In the confusion that followed, a random shoulder bumped into yours and pushed you out of the line and off the sidewalk, right in front of the Fourth Doctor - who was struggling to maintain his Fedora in place and watch where he was going at the same time.

Needless to say, he ended up failing at both.

“Oh my God, are you okay?” the blond woman asked. 

“I’m so sorry, SO SO SORRY—” the tall guy apologized simultaneously and she cut him off, rushing to your side.

“Are you alright? Are you hurt?”

The frantic exchange prompted your brain to whoosh into light speed mode to elaborate and discharge the ‘Ah, shit!!’ and ‘wait… is this iced macchiato?!?!’ inputs in favor of a more suitable reaction at the sight of the considerable amount of caffeine soaking your hoodie.

“... I think I’m okay.”  

“First-aid manuals suggest removing all clothes or jewelry near the affected area within moments after the spillage of a hot liquid,” the tall guy said, and the woman gasped in shock. 

“Please tell me you didn’t get burned! Once I got this non-fat steamed white chocolate vani—”

“I’m fine,” you growled a bit. 

Someone behind you was snickering and, despite the relief of not having sustained serious injuries, the attention was already making you feel uncomfortable.

“Scalds are caused by sources of humid heat and certain types of fibers retain the water, which can be responsible for additional damage to the skin,” the tall guy explained again, speaking faster than anyone you had ever heard.

You tucked your shirt in your jeans and raised an eyebrow in his direction. “Let me guess: you’re a doctor.” 

“Well… uhm, yes, this is my…” he faltered, unable to tell if you were referencing his costume as a pun or not. “I am, actually.”

“Not that kind of doctor,” the woman added.

She sighed as soon as she realized you were standing there speechless, drenched in coffee, your gaze wandering back and forth between them. “I’m so sorry…”

“They should be more careful with the lids. I think I got lucky,” you muttered through gritted teeth as you pulled the zip down.

Thanks to the decision to splurge some money on yourself, earlier on, you had something to replace your soiled hoodie with. The Fourth Doctor looked away and focused his attention on the cups he was still holding in his hands; before he threw them in the nearest trashcan he inspected their content, confirming he’d fortunately spilled on you a combination of 98% half-caf iced caramel macchiato and just 2% regular hot americano.

The woman was still clasping the handle of her umbrella. “Listen, we were about to check out this itsy-bitsy lovely Indian place ‘round the corner, maybe you should come with us. You know… to try and get cleaned up a little.” 

You dug into the shopping bag at your feet, taking a sealed package out to rip the plastic film wrapped around a brown sweatshirt with a stylized front print of the panoramic view of the desert, Jabba the Hutt’s palace and twin suns on Tatooine, and put it on. 

“No offense, but my parents taught me to never follow strangers.” 

“None taken,” the tall guy replied, “they were absolutely right. According to the National Missing and Unidentified Persons System, about 90,000 individuals are reported missing in the U.S. every year and the National Institute of Justice estimates that approximately 4,400 unidentified bodies are recovered annually.”  

For the second time in less than five minutes, you considered the possibility he could truly be from Gallifrey. You also wondered if he was aware of his perfect facial structure: everything about his demeanor indicated he wasn’t too skilled in the art of charming people using his sculpted jawline and lean figure. 

“... do you always quote statistics about murders and kidnappings like it’s a casual topic of conversation?”  

His eyes got even bigger, showing a hint of gold on the inside. “It was merely an observation—”

“Yeah, he… does that,” the woman came to his rescue, “and even if it sounds bad, trust me it’s- it's part of his job. Our job. Except, I don’t deal with the scary, disturbing, yucky stuff.”

Your question wasn’t meant to come out in such a sarcastic tone. “You’re cops?!”

“FBI. Tech Analyst and Behavioral Analysis Unit,” she explained, and the tall guy waved a silent greeting at you. 

Even though the chance of running into the Bureau personnel stationed in D.C., at some point, wasn’t unreasonable, ‘two FBI agents walk into a multifandom convention dressed as characters from sci-fi TV shows’ could have easily been the beginning of a bad joke. 

Plus, it was hard to picture the Fourth Doctor as a G-Man. “What’s your Ph.D. in, exactly?”

“I have a Ph.D. in Mathematics. And Chemistry, and Engineering. And I hold BAs in Psychology, Sociology and Philosophy.”

“Google him. Spencer Reid, B-A-U,” the woman suggested after a short pause, in response to your skeptical expression.

Judging by her tone she was daring you to, as if the situation wasn’t already giving off major The Twilight Zone vibes… and yet, instead of bidding them an unenthusiastic farewell, you pulled out your phone to type his name. 

A plethora of results popped on the screen seconds later, so you first clicked on the link titled BAU’s newest member. 

“With three doctorate degrees from Caltech already, and a staggering IQ of 187 as well as an eidetic memory there is no psychological exam or test the FBI could put in front of him he could not ace,” the piece said about newly-recruited Spencer Reid.

“When I ask why he chose Caltech over MIT and Stanford, he quickly runs down a list of Professors he had a desire to study with. He makes no mention of the weather or girls,” an older article reported.

You skipped through at least a dozen mentions of SSA Reid’s outstanding performances in the field, then a PDF document, property of the California Institute of Technology, caught your interest and you read the title aloud. 

“Identifying non-obvious relationship—” 

“Non-obvious relationship factors using cluster-weighted modeling and geographic regression,” he recited by heart, “that's my Engineering dissertation.”

He was too prepared on the subject and too adorably peculiar to be an impostor posing as a genius FBI agent for kicks, during the weekend; you picked his Fedora off the ground as a peace offering. 

“Seems like you’re a wunderkind, Doctor Reid.”

Spencer lowered his chin so he could mask the rush of blood to his cheeks and his friend giggled, gently linking arms with you. 

“Now, there’s something relevant we need to discuss, pronto… how do you feel about veg biryani?”

An hour and a half proved to be all the time you needed to form a solid conviction that Spencer Reid going on a spiel about the original blueprints of a fictional space station was the best thing since sliced bread.

“It’s part of the iconic imagery Lucas wanted to establish, there’s no health and safety. And don’t forget it was originally designed by the Geonosians.”

You snorted at the mention of the classic ‘designed by a flying alien species’ argument. “That’s not an excuse! Even if the Geonosians designed it, they knew it was meant to be used by humanoid creatures.”

After leaving the restaurant, where you had insisted on paying for your share - much to Garcia's dismay, you’d walked back to the convention center’s parking lot and now you were waiting by your car for Penelope to get hers. As you had recently discovered, she loved mugs, old Italian movies and playing the ukulele; Spencer wasn’t as outgoing and chatty, especially about his private life, but Star Wars was for sure one of his numerous areas of expertise.

“TIE fighters don’t have a proper defense system and the original prototype even lacked structural integrity to support atmospheric flight. The Empire doesn't care about casualties, it’s safe to think they never bothered to install a guardrail or other appropriate safety measures because to them the Death Star technicians are expendable.”

“Okay… solid theory,” you admitted, making him smile as he wiped his forehead to get rid of a lock of curly hair.

“Thank you. It’s nice to have a discussion with someone who knows about the Geonosians. Or the Death Star. It only happened twice but I’ve had people asking me what that was.”

When the convertible Cadillac with a plastic Hawaiian lei tied to the rear-view mirror stopped inches from you, Garcia - behind the steering wheel - proudly gestured at the extension of her eccentric personality.

“Meet Esther. Isn’t she fab?”

You wolf whistled your appreciation, gliding your fingertips over the leather upholstery and orange body paint. “Quick question: how much do you think I’d get if I sued two FBI agents for… damages, let’s say?!”

Penelope produced a fluffy pen out of the glove compartment and scribbled something on the back of a PetMAC receipt she handed it to you. 

“Sweet pea, if I were you I'd settle for a lifetime of free IT support.”

“I’ll take it,” you said, “I’m kind of tired of being bullied by my own laptop.”

She stared at you for a moment before her face lit up, like a girl on a trip to a four-story candy shop. “... have you ever been to Baltimore ComicCon?!” she asked out of the blue while Spencer plopped himself down on the passenger seat.

You shook your head. “Do you guys—”

“We should totally go together!!” Garcia proposed. Or rather, declared.

In all honesty, the prospect of attending another convention on your own was depressing and you’d given up on the one in Maryland for that specific reason; you turned to Spencer for his approval, too, and he nodded, maybe because he knew there was no way of stopping Garcia if she had her mind set on a specific goal.  

“Baltimore it is, then…?!”

Penelope shot you a smug grin. “Keep in touch. We still owe you a nice dinner and ComicCon’s not up until September, I’d hate to run a background check on your license plate to find you.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at the idea and saluted them goodbye as they drove off, Esther’s taillights shining bright red.

What a weird Saturday. Meeting a real life genius and the quirkiest FBI agent ever came with a price, and one of your favorite hoodies was most likely beyond salvaging. You needed to know if Spencer Reid was well worth it.

Garcia’s words then echoed in your ears, so you sat in your car and unlocked your phone, scrolling through the most recent Google searches: you had a lot of reading to do. 

@matthew-gray-gubler-lover, @thisiscalmanditsdoctorreid, @pretty-boys-book-club, @spookydrreid, @f-me-reid, @foxy-eva, @scorpiofangirl1109, @a-potato-wearing-plaid, @cynbx, @reidsbookclub, @nagemasstuff, @hotchsdharma, @reidmainbitch, @lizzylynch1, @will-grahams-eyes, @padawancat97

»»»— read pinned post for taglist info —«««

[hyunsvngs]

I just read the fem skz slumber party fic! It was so so good!! Thank you for recommending it!!

Oh oh what about helping the boys through their ruts/ heats for the first time?? Who do you think would go absolutely feral and who would still be gentle...also the breeding!?....I need to chill

-🦇

AWWW NO ITS ONE OF MY FAVES IM GLAD U LOVED IT!! ANYWAY HERE ISSSS… helping the boys through their ruts/heats! i obviously didnt do the betas (changbin, seungmin, hyunjin) so these r just our alphas & omegas <3 also!! CW for pegging&rimming in jisung & felix’s if youre not into that<3

chan: alpha

your nose twitched when you inhaled at the front door. the smell of the beach, ocean breeze, warm and comforting filled your senses - it was so strong. changbin confirmed your suspicions when he opened the door. “it’s bad.”

“okay,” you nodded, making your way into the house. it was clean. weirdly clean, you thought. “who cleaned?”

“jisung. nerves, i don’t know. probably an omega thing.” you blinked, nodding, before you started to walk over to chan’s room. what you were met with was not an unpleasant sight.

chan, fully naked. his body was covered with a sheen of sweat, glistening off of his abdominal muscles and his pecs. you wanted to lick it up. his hand was pumping steadily at his cock, a pool of cum already on his tummy - but he wasn’t stopping. you could see his knot, engorged and wanting to pop. it obviously had nothing to pop in yet, but you were there now, his loyal omega girlfriend.

his head snapped to the door when you entered, even though you’d tried to open and shut the door quietly. he looked about two seconds away from growling, but instead, he just clenched the base of his cock sharply.

“fuck, baby. get over here. i’m gonna cum and i need to pop my knot inside that pussy,” he grumbled, a low gravelly tone. the sweat had mussed his hair so it was curly, dark against his forehead. you nodded, shocked, before quickly shucking off your clothes and getting onto the bed. always considerate, he flipped you over, wrapping your legs around his waist so it wasn’t uncomfortable when you were locked together. without a second passing, he pushed inside of you.

“oh, channie, that’s big,” you crooned, head falling back against the pillows. chan was quick to start fucking into you, a feverish pace that set your senses on fire. omega slick was a blessing at that point - honestly, you’d been slicking up since you smelled him by the door. he needed help more than you did though. “alpha! oh, god, daddy, are you gonna fuck a pup into me?”

chan groaned, his sweaty forehead resting against yours. his eyes were clenched shut but he managed to nod, breaths fanning over your mouth. “yeah, omega. ‘m gonna- f- fuck, i’m gonna cum, gonna fill you up, fuck. you gotta cum too, you gotta-“

“baby, focus on you for now, okay?” chan looked hesitant but nodded anyway, his pace becoming stuttered as he got closer to the edge.

“o-okay, but then i gotta eat you out when my knot breaks.”

“deal.”

minho: alpha

you squeaked when you opened your front door. your boyfriend was standing there, hair messy and chest heaving from his panting. the smell of chocolate was so, so thick, almost sickly, and he was staring at you with dark eyes.

oh. he’s in rut.

“oh. oh, baby, did you run here?” you asked, eyes soft as you rake over his body. not only were you concerned that he ran all the way to your house, you were also concerned that he ran all the way to your house with a massive bulge in his trousers from his erection.

“i… i need you,” he admitted, eyes falling to the floor. “i’m sorry. me coming here must have surprised you, but i’m in rut. and i know we said we should do it separately, just for a while, but i-“

“get in, dumbass,” you quipped, yanking him in by his wrist. he’s in shorts and a t-shirt, which should’ve been the first clue. it was autumn, and he was running very hot by the feeling of his bare skin in your hand. “fuck me. it’ll make you feel better, and i’m your girlfriend, min. it’s really okay.”

“but i might-“

“ssh,” you kissed his lips, and he sighed. “i don’t care if you get a little crazy. bite me, claim me. i’m in this for the long run.”

that’s how you ended up on all fours on the floor of your living room, only a pillow underneath your knees for comfort. minho was pounding into you, having already knotted you once he clearly needed more. you pushed your ass onto him, bouncing against his cock.

“that’s it, little omega,” he groans, both hands slapping your asscheeks. “fuck back on my cock like that. gonna knot you again, fill you up, make you a mommy.”

“oh, yes,” you whined, head falling to the floor. “make me a mommy, min, breed me, fuck-“

“i’m gonna make you a fucking mommy, filthy girl. gonna give you pups, yeah?”

jisung: omega

“i wan’ the big one,” jisung whined, making grabby hands at you. you were picking which knotting dildo to strap to yourself and fuck him with, and of course, your cute little in-heat boyfriend wanted the huge one. you couldn’t even take this one on a good day, but jisung had been fingered open by both himself and you and so you shrugged, strapping it onto your harness. when you got back on the bed, he’d contortioned himself onto his back with his legs held up by his hands. he looked at you with teary eyes, yet still a big, stupid grin on his face. “mm, yeah, mommy. gimme your big cock.”

“slut,” you mused, affectionately dragging your hand up his thigh. you used his own slick to glide up the strapon, before you were pressing it into his hole. his jaw dropped immediately, letting you stretch him nice and wide. his eyes were now fond, affectionate as he let you pick your own pace. you, of course, chose slow and deep. “look at your hole, taking all of this. ‘s so cute, hannie.”

“big, big, oh- oh, mommy, breed me,” he blurted, head falling back against the pillows. his cock was leaky, dripping out onto his stomach from beneath his foreskin and his balls looking tight and full. you squeezed one in your hand experimentally, and his back arched, a choked moan falling out from his lips. “mommy!”

“you want mommy to breed you, baby?” you hummed, kissing his pouty lips. he moaned into the kiss, nodding eagerly and making the kiss way more sloppy than intended. “should mommy go faster? gotta make her omega cum before i fill him up, right?”

“oh! oh, yes, mommy! please, faster, faster-“

“alright, slut. i got you,” you giggled, before you started to pick up the pace. his eyes rolled back into his head feeling you drill into his prostate, and he let out a loud moan that reverberated off the walls. everything in the room smelled of citrus.

“love you, mommy,” he mumbled, lost in ecstasy. you smiled, pecking his nose. “always helpin’ me with my heat.”

“love you too, baby.”

felix: omega

“ah, shit! that’s it,” felix whined, his head lolling over the end of the sofa. your tongue swept up the slick on his asshole, just delving in slightly before sloppily kissing down to his balls. felix groaned a deep noise when you licked over his balls, his thighs clenching. honestly, omega slick didn’t do much for you since you were an omega too, but you could still taste felix’s signature cinnamon sent in it.

you licked your lips when you pulled away, rubbing a thumb over his tight hole. “you want more, lixie?”

“yes! yes, fingers, and then- i want the toy after, please, please,” he was babbling, hips grinding down into the leather of the sofa. you giggled, before you slid two fingers into him at once, curling against his prostate. he jolted, a sharp inhale of breath being heard around the room. “mm, mm, c’mere, got an idea.”

you shifted over to let him pull you underneath him, your fingers still deep in his ass. with a quick move he was sliding your underwear down and positioning his cock at your entrance.

“lixie…?”

“‘s- i gotta. i can fucking smell you, and i have to. keep fingering me, precious,” he breached your hole in one go. you were honestly almost as wet as him just from getting your tongue and fingers on him, and the stretch was a welcome one. “ah- ah, yeah, shit. n-needed that.”

when he started to move his hips, he quickly noticed that he was riding your fingers as well as fucking into you. your whines joined the room along with his deep groans. he was feeling just so good, so full, so content.

jeongin: alpha

jeongin had only had a few ruts alone before you, and there he was - fucking into you without abandon while seungmin was literally in the next room. he didn’t even seem to care.

“‘s- oh, gotta- just a bit deeper, i gotta get it deeper so it takes, y’know?” jeongin was whiny and talkative during a rut, you noticed. you obeyed his wishes anyway, pulling your legs up to your chest and letting him fuck into you deeper this time. the sensation had your eyes rolling back into your head, but you still had enough wits about you to tease him.

“for what to take, alpha?” you croon. jeongin groans, his hand splayed next to your head. the bed itself was rocking, headboard crashing against the wall with a loud noise every single thrust. it had you whining even louder, just the thought of being caught. you knew jeongin got off on it too.

“for- for my pups to take, baby, shit- ‘m gonna knot you again,” jeongin admitted, and then he was laughing in disbelief. you giggled too, shaking your head fondly and brushing the hair back from his eyes. you didn’t miss him leaning his head into your touch.

“c’mon then, innie. breed your omega. i’ve been good, haven’t i?”

[captain-mj]

are you going to continue interview with the 141 or is it finished ? i just really love what we do in the shadows and seeing a fic with my faves was literally like unwrapping the best gift that you didn’t even know existed

Ngl I don't have an excuse, I just straight up forgot about this series... oops? Here's a smutty installment as an apology

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10

Ghost ran his fingers through Soap’s hair as they kissed. He didn’t think he could get enough. It was like a breath of air after so many years of not being able to breath.

Soap chased his lips, eyelashes fluttering. “Ghost…” He put his hands on his shoulder. “I’d stay with you. Far after when I turn. I promise.” 

Ghost cupped his face and leaned in to him. “One day, the color will be gone from your face. You’ll be forever the same. Your hair will grow slowly. Your body will never change. I’m sorry I’m selfish. I know I’m dragging this out.” He traced his cheekbones and then down to his collar. 

Soap softened. “Why? Like me like this?”

“I like you alive…” Ghost leaned in and kissed his neck gently, feeling his pulse. He sank his fangs into him. His arms tightened when Soap panicked for a moment before relaxing. Soap grabbed Ghost’s biceps and held him tight. 

Blood filled his mouth. It was delicious. Just as good as last time. He lapped at the bleeding wound until Soap shivered and shook. “Ghost…” 

Ghost pulled away and grabbed him, yanking him inside right as the sun’s rays hit the doorstep. 

Soap looked horrified. He quickly started to check Ghost out, running his hands over him to make sure he wasn’t burned anywhere. “I should’ve been more careful we had been out there talking for so long and I….”

“Johnny.” Ghost grabbed his chin and tilted his head so he’d be facing him. “It’s okay.”

Soap paused. His pale complexion mixed with the dark blood on his lips and the drip down his chin… It made him look like one of the vampires in the old movies. He bit his lip, helpless to his charms. 

Ghost smiled. “Do you have your necklace on?”

“No. I didn’t bother getting a new one.” Soap stepped closer. 

“Think you could fight us off?”

“You wouldn’t let them.” 

Ghost hated that it was true. He’d never kill his friends, but for Johnny? He would come close. 

“I don’t need to be turned right now.” Soap said softly. “But the longer you take to decide, the more I age. The more likely it is one day I’ll die. That scares me.”

“Dying?”

“Leaving you alone.” 

Ghost barely thought about it. He was kissing him again, more reverent. More desperate. “Johnny… Johnny…” He picked him up and put him on the counter. “A little more time. It’s all I need.” 

Soap tanged his fingers in Ghost’s hair, expecting another blowjob or maybe some fancy work with his hands. Ghost instead ripped his clothes off and laid him out. He paused only long enough to open a drawer Soap had never seen before and grabbing lube. “Ale and Rudy have these stashed everywhere in the house.” Ghost explained. 

Soap nodded and gripped the counter. “It’s been a while so go slow.”

“You have trouble getting dates?”

“Never have enough alone time. And they’re not really you, are they?”

Ghost was going to go mad. He hiked Soap’s leg up and used a liberal amount of lube. He pressed his lips to Soap’s ankle as he carefully worked him open. 

Soap gasped and groaned and whined. So wonderfully tight. It took him a while for Ghost to be able to slide a second finger in. “You’re doing beautifully, Love.” He mumbled and placed another kiss to his calf this time. “But you’re going to need to relax.”

“I am.” Soap whimpered out, adjusting his legs to try to spread them more. He groaned and his back arched as Ghost curled his fingers. It took more lube and a lot of patience but Ghost got him to take three, slowly curling and uncurling them before digging them in deeper. 

Soap’s head lolled back as he panted, eyes screwed shut. 

Ghost pulled back and carefully lined himself up. 

Every vice Ghost could think of didn’t hold a candle to Soap. He was so tight. So hot. It felt like he was melting into him. 

Soap let out a tiny sob as Ghost continued to push him. He tensed for a second before forcing himself to relax, body arching.

Ghost bottomed out, eyes staring at the ceiling. “Johnny. Why have you never convinced me to do this before?”

Soap looked indignant. “I tri-” Ghost thrust in, knocking the air out of him. He was slow, like promised, but with his size and how eager it was, it was still a lot. Johnny felt tears streaming down his face but it was too good for him to ask Ghost to stop. As he started to get more and more comfortable, Ghost would speed up until he found himself bent in half and being pounded into. 

Soap grabbed his shoulders and buried his face in his neck, sobbing. He came hard with only Ghost’s arms around him to keep him from shattering. His body tightened around Ghost until he heard a choked sound as he came inside Soap. 

Soap shivered from the sudden and Ghost scooped him up, whisking him away to his coffin. They fit surprisingly well. 

Interviewer: Did you cry?

Soap: Like a fucking baby.

[lady-of-the-spirit]

Universal Monsters + Fuckability

Qualifications (choosing movies)

I have seen the movie.

Characters listed as part of the Universal Monsters lineup (Phantom of the Opera from 1925 for example is not included.)

Personality and events of film considered just as much as physical attractiveness.

[ID: Picture of Bela Lugosi as Dracula, dressed in black clothes and a cape, staring at the camera with an annoyed expression. His face is slightly in the shadows. End id]

Dracula (1931)

Bela Lugosi kinda handsome

Vampires hot

Rich. 

Has three wives (dick is good) (plus you can hang out with wives)

Hypnosis

Loses points because the movie was boring and he kills Lucy Westron, poly icon (antifeminist)

7/10

[ID: image of Boris Karloff as Frankenstein, holding his hands to his face, looking offscreen and with a disturbed expression. The lighting only lights up his face. End ID]

Frankenstein (1931)

Literally just born (minor) and doesn’t understand sex

Movie diverged too much from the book for me to like it 

Too awkward and big

Unclear if he has any genitalia at all

1/10 because this image is cool and a little sexy

[ID: Boris Karloff as Imhotep the mummy. His skin is dried and sunken in. He's glaring at something offscreen. He's dressed in a high collar brown shirt and a cap that covers the top of his head. End ID]

The Mummy (1932)

One of my faves 

Backstory is centered around LOVE - will literally curse the gods and forsake everyone for his lover. Hot. 

The opening scene where he came awake for the first time was sexy.

Anti colonialist

Hypnosis

Nice voice

Loses points for unfortunately not being very attractive - dry skin

9/10

[No image for this slide]

The Invisible Man (1933)

Wanted to take over the world and went to his best friend and not his FIANCE??? Gay, and clearly doesn’t care about lover’s needs (even with said best friend). 

Not a monster, just an asshole

Pushed over a baby carriage! Disgusting

We don’t know what he looks like. Sexiness only comes from whether or not you think having sex with someone you can’t see would be hot or not.

Gets points for being a silly little guy, ambition being hot, and the “villain goes soft only for his loved one” trope

Still. -5/10

Bride of Frankenstein (1935)

Like Frankenstein, Literally just born (minor) and doesn’t understand sex

Also had strong reaction AGAINST being an object of desire and so ranking her is missing the point

However because she’s the ONLY woman on this list she gets special privileges.

will be ranking her as if she was not literally ten minutes old and if she understood sex

[ID: Elsa Lanchester as the bride of Frankenstein. The lighting of the image is very bright, so you can see her whole upper body with very few shadows. She's staring at something offscreen with a curious but frightened expression. She wears white robes, and her hair is black with a white streak up the sides, in a beehive style. End ID]

Bride of Frankenstein (1935) (cont.)

Horror movie scream A+

Gorgeous and Iconic

Understands No Means No. (Unlike other creatures on this list) 

Baby Girl you are SO unnerving 💖💖💖 

Tall Woman. Probably strong. 

10/10.

[ID: Two images of the wolf man. One is the wolf man as the wolf man, standing in thr woods, his face covered in fur, his hands furry and clawed, looking panicked. The second is Lon Cheney Jr. as Larry Talbot, a white man with short dark hair slicked back, dressed in a suit with a plaid tie, with a stressed out look on his face. End ID]

The Wolf Man (1941)

This movie just makes me sad. Larry Talbot is a tragic figure.

But he’s also kind of a stalker (spies on woman)

Only a monster half of the time

Wolf form isn’t attractive. (human form okay.)

No sense of control. 

Not even a little okay with his murders. Too pathetic and sad.

2/10

[ID: Image of the creature from the black lagoon, a creature the size of a man covered in scaley and amphibian-like skin with a fish-like face. He's mostly submerged in water, only his head and finned hands with sharp claws poking out of the water. End ID]

The Creature From The Black Lagoon (1954)

Definitely my favourite

Environmentalist! Anti colonialist! 

Swimming scene half creepy half romantic, also gets points for inspiring The Shape of Water (2017).

Phenomenal creature design, A+. 

Just wants someone to love

Will kill everyone else but NOT lover.

Underwater sex. Rough sex.

Sex will probably be awkward because of this.

8/10

[ID: profile of the Bride of Frankenstein. Her head is tiled up and her eyes are mostly closed.]

Congratulations to our winner! Runner ups, The Mummy and the Creature From the Black Lagoon.

[svnflower-writes]

real sweet but i wish you were sober

Description: in which the mutual pining becomes something both Remus and Sirius have wanted for years due to a drunk, jealous slip up on Sirius' part.

ship: wolfstar + background jegulus

warnings: nothing major I can think of—alcohol consumption, so much fluff, unresolved sexual and romantic tension, painfully obvious flirting, james regulus and peter are a bunch of little shits, jealousy

ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/51762532

authors note: SO MUCH FLUFF and remus is second guessing EVERYTHING. obviously inspired by wish you were sober by conan gray :) they’re not together when this starts and remus is feeling very unsure about a lot of things. sirius helps him out with that though ;) somehow from the dining table by harry styles possessed me to write this in half an hour idk why it doesn’t even give the same vibes but ig it feels like a wolfstar song to me soooo —as always this is unedited and i wrote it at 2am so i might read it later and think it's total shit (but currently this is my fave wolfstar fic i've writen) also this was meant to be like 500 words and its almost 2k lmaooo

Remus was a blushing mess. Sirius had insisted on doing Remus’ eyeliner—saying that Remus would just look ‘so hot’ in it—and who was he to refuse? For Sirius, he would do anything. The problem was, he hadn’t exactly pictured agreeing to this resulting in Sirius straddling his hips, leaning extremely close to his face with his tongue poked out due to his level of focus.

“Merlin, Moony, you’ll be the hottest one at the party.” Well, one of us certainly will be, and it’s not me.

Remus was screaming internally, but he mustered a playful smirk and a quick: “am I not already?”

Sirius sent him a grin as he continued to do his makeup, “of course you are, darling. Anyone who disagrees is blind.”

Remus was certainly not blind when it came to noticing the tiny things Sirius was doing, however. The way he pushed his dark curls out of his eyes with one hand and clenched his jaw slightly in concentration with one eyebrow slightly raised? Fucking hell, it drove him insane. Remus wanted so strongly to just grab his face and smash their lips together.

He didn’t do that, obviously.

“Okay, I’m almost done,” Sirius muttered while he did the final touches to the eyeliner. “You ready for everyone at this party to fall madly in love with you?” I only want you to love me.

Remus swallowed a lump in his throat and looked up at Sirius, “as long as you’re one of them.”

Sirius looked a little taken aback for a moment and Remus could’ve sworn he saw him blush, but he was likely just seeing what he wanted to see. At the look on Sirius’ face, Remus mentally cursed himself for speaking his thoughts aloud. Remus’ worry was unnecessary—as it often was—because a broad smile soon took over his features and he pressed a kiss to Remus’ cheek. “You can count on that.”

Even after he had pulled away, Remus could feel the ghost of his lips where they had been on his cheek, and he refused to look at Sirius because he knew he was a blushing mess.

“Moony?”

This broke Remus out of his thoughts, and he looked up with wide eyes. “Yeah?”

Sirius smirked in amusement at Remus’ absentmindedness and the fluffy-haired boy could only hope that he was unaware that he was the cause of it all. “Could you go check if James is ready? I need to fix my outfit.”

Remus scoffed softly, “Pads, I hardly think your outfit needs fixing.” Sirius was wearing a white cropped tank top—Moony loved it because showed off his tattoos and biceps— with an array of necklaces draped around his neck. He had on his favourite baggy jeans (the ones with stars on them that Remus had helped him make) and a black belt adorning his waist, and the look was finished off with a pair of Dr. Martens.

Sirius winked at him, “well, you know me. I have to look perfect for you, my love.”

The last two words almost resulted in Sirius being pushed up against the wall, so Remus opted for a short: “You always look perfect to me, darling,” before he exited the room as fast as he possibly could.

He found James downstairs in their common room, lying on the couch with Regulus curled up at his side. James was stroking Regulus’ hair and whispering sweet nothings into his ears, and Remus smiled at the two as he flopped down on the seat opposite them. James looked up and surveyed his flushed cheeks, he then asked casually, “so, have you two made out yet?”

Remus threw the nearest book (which happened to be Lily’s current reread, Pride and Prejudice) at him before glancing across at Lily, who was sat across the common room watching the exchange with a grin. “Sorry, Lily. it was for a good cause.”

“No, no. I’m curious too. Are the two of you,” she wiggled her eyebrows playfully, “getting any action?”

Remus glared at his friend, “shut up. And for your information, no.”

Regulus cooed at him from where he sat with James, “oh, poor Remus. So much flirting, so little of anything else—including your transfiguration notes, by the way. I wanted to borrow someone’s notes for the class I missed, so I asked James, who obviously redirected me to your extensive pile of notes on your desk. That desk is very disorganised, by the way. But alas, no notes. Never thought you were the type to forget to take notes. Spending too much time yearning over my brother in that class, Lupin?”

Remus looked away in embarrassment, “don’t rely on someone else’s notes next time, Reggie.”

“Don’t spend hours on end staring at my brother and I wouldn’t have to call you out for not having your notes.”

Groaning, Remus stood up, “okay, I’m going to get a sweater. See you guys soon!” he began to walk up the stairs but he was stopped when he walked into Sirius walking down. He had redone his hair and put it half into a low bun, and he had gained several rings and had a leather jacket in his hands.

He grinned at Remus, “ready to go?”

“Oh, I need-”

His favourite woollen jumper was shoved into his arms and he blinked slowly as Sirius spoke. “I thought you might want it.”

Remus shifted his weight from side to side as he looked down at the sweater in his hands and he was overcome with an overwhelming sense of adoration for the boy standing in front of him.

He didn’t realise how long he had been staring down at it until Sirius ruffled his hair softly.

“Hey, you okay? You zoned out.”

“Oh, uh, yeah. I’m fine, thanks for getting this. We can go down now, if you want?”

Sirius nodded, taking Remus’ hand and tugging him gently down the stairs. Remus felt his heart beating faster than he deemed normal, but he couldn’t remember anything about human biology at that moment due to his mind racing at a million miles per minute. As the two walked into the common room, he met eyes with Lily and sent her an alarmed expression, to which she smirked at. She tapped Mary’s shoulder and pointed at Sirius and Remus’ entwined hands. Mary grinned and gave a silent cheer directed to Remus.

There were already more people in the common room, a variation of people Remus recognised and people he didn’t (admittedly more of the later group). Sirius led Remus towards James, Regulus, and Peter, who were now sitting upright on the couch. Remus sat next to Regulus and the boy smirked at him.

“You’re a mess, Lupin.”

Peter walked around the back of the couch to whisper in Remus’ ear, “I say just kiss and be done with it. This flirting is sickening.” Remus gently slapped Peter’s shoulder with the hand that wasn’t still clasped in Sirius’ ring-clad one and the other boy lightly gasped. “Well, they do say love makes people crazy.”

Remus groaned loudly at Peter’s words, and Sirius turned to him. “You okay?”

“No, he’s in-” Remus pressed his free hand over Peter’s mouth with a warning expression directed at the shorter boy.

“Yeah, I’m okay.” He smiled at Sirius, who looked unconvinced and squeezed his hand reassuringly. Remus almost melted right then and there, and Peter snickered at the interaction.

James stood up abruptly, “alright, who wants some firewhisky?”

Sirius cheered, standing up to follow James and pulling Remus to his feet by the hand he didn’t quite want to let go of just yet.

Ten minutes later, Remus was leaning against the wall with a half full glass of firewhisky and a small smile on his face as he watched Sirius participating in some stupid dare. The long-haired boy kept sending little glances over at Remus to see if he was watching and letting his teasing gaze linger when they made eye contact. Somehow, Sirius had convinced Regulus to participate in the game, and the two brothers had light, carefree smiles on their faces.

Remus felt another presence next to him and looked over to see James, watching the Black brothers with a yearning look on his face similar to the one that was probably adorning Remus’ face. Smiling at Remus,

James muttered, “oh, our stars are so pretty.”

Remus nodded in agreement, “so pretty.”

The two stood there with adoring expressions painting their features for another ten minutes minutes before Remus felt an arm wrap around his shoulders, warm breath alarmingly close to his ear. He was overcome with an immense feeling of discomfort.

A sultry feminine voice whispered, “well, aren’t you a handsome specimen, what if I-”

The voice didn’t even get a chance to finish before Remus felt a well-known hand grab his own. “What if you piss off and take your wandering hands out of my boyfriend’s personal space?”

Remus did a double take.

His eyes widened slightly and he glanced at where James had been with a confused expression, only to find that his friend had disappeared. When he finally mustered the courage to look at Sirius, he was surprised to find him with a deep blush covering his cheeks. They met eyes.

“Fuck, I’m sorry! I didn’t know how else to get her away from you—and you were so uncomfortable, I couldn’t just stand there and watch. Plus, I didn’t want her touching you– I’m sorry, I’m rambling, fuck.”

Remus had the best idea he had had all night long. “Who said it was something to be sorry for?”

Sirius froze. “What do you mean?”

“What do you think I mean?”

Sirius looked into Remus’ eyes for a few moments before grabbing his face and smashing their lips together. It was a messy kiss, all teeth clashing and hands grabbing at hair.

Remus pulled away suddenly, “how drunk are you, exactly?”

“Not drunk enough to be making this up, if that’s what you’re asking?”

“Sober enough to remember it in the morning?”

“Well, if I don’t, we can always recreate it.” Sirius winked playfully and squeezed Remus’ hand.

“Hmm, can’t say I’d be opposed to that, darling…” Remus trailed off slowly as he pushed Sirius against the wall, bringing their lips together in another kiss. This kiss was slow, sweet, and a stark contrast to their first kiss. Remus had one hand resting on Sirius’ cheek and another tangled in his curls, and Sirius’ had his arms draped over Remus’ shoulders.

Remus’ eyes suddenly caught the metal glint of a necklace hanging around Sirius’ neck, and he raised an eyebrow as he pulled slightly away from the kiss. “Is that mine?”

Sirius scoffed, “you never wore it, anyway. It was wasted on you.” Remus smiled softly and wasted no time in bringing their lips together once again.